So, that finale huh?
I thought about posting a serious, well put together article for Geekocracy about this, but then I realised how badly I needed to GET ANGRY and WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS and FUCKING SWEAR and the poor readers over there don't need to see this mess.
Honestly, I don't even like the show that much. I've seen every season and probably every episode, but it's something I stick on in the background while I'm cleaning my flat, or writing something that doesn't require much brain power. You can relate with the characters and what they're going through, it makes me laugh, and yes, I've been known to shout 'challenge accepted!' at people, but it's never been something I've ever gotten excited about or cried over.
So why did the finale make me so. Fucking. Angry?
The final season was not great, but being the stubborn lady that I am, once I start watching a show I have to finish it. However, I did really enjoy finding out more about The Mother. I was disappointed at first; I was hoping she'd be someone we'd met before, a face from a previous season that would make us go 'oh my god, it's her!' Instead, it was some random lady we'd never seen before. Meh. But as season nine went on, I really began to like her character. She was quirky, but not in an over the top, irritating way. She was cute, friendly, kind... She was perfect for Ted. The show had spent nine years building this lady up, and it looked as though we weren't going to be disappointed.
And then they went and broke our hearts into a million, tiny pieces. But more on that later.
Here's why I hated the finale (spoilers, obviously):
1) Lily and Marshall. The only thing we learn about these two is that they have a third child. That's it. We already knew Marshall becomes a judge. But... what about their year in Rome? What about Lily's career? These things have been huge issues at times during the show, but we don't hear any more about them in the last ever episode? Ooookay then...
2) Barney and Robin. We spent... a whole... fucking... season... waiting for their wedding to finally fucking happen, AND FIVE MINUTES INTO THE LAST FUCKING EPISODE WE FIND OUT THEY GOT DIVORCED THREE YEARS LATER? What is this shit?!
Look... I know a lot of marriages end in divorce. I'm not living in a dream world. Relationships that seem perfect can and do fall apart. But you know what? This is fiction. Surely the writers could see what a brilliant couple they'd created with these two? But no. Apparently being the most laid back of people, and the travelling and having lots of sex and lots of fun GOT TOO DIFFICULT FOR THEM.
Shut up.
3) Barney. Really? Really? After his divorce, it's just straight back to his old ways again? Guess what, writers? We liked nice Barney! We don't want the Playbook back!
So... okay. We get to see Barney in his 40s, still trying to get into the pants of every 20 year old he sees, which is incredibly sad to watch, and then he drops the bombshell: he got one of them pregnant. He holds his daughter for the first time, and yes, it was quite a nice scene. But... that's it. We don't even get the mother's name (do they realise how insulting it is to refer to someone as 'Girl Barney Slept With That Month No.31'?). Are they dating? Did Barney settle down with anyone at all, because apparently having a daughter was the one thing that stops him from hitting on every drunk girl he sees? What's he doing now? Did he just... have a baby and THAT WAS HIS LIFE DONE?
4) Robin. After the divorce, we don't see much of Robin. She distances herself from the group, and is very successful career-wise, but seems to be a very unhappy person. But... why? Why did they portray her that way? We loved Robin because she was so strong, so independent, and she didn't need or want a man and babies to be happy. She loved her work, and that was the most important thing in her life. It was nice to finally see a female character like that in a show. BUT APPARENTLY SHE'S JUST BEEN SITTING AROUND MOPING ALL THESE YEARS.
5) Ted and The Mother. They finally meet, under that yellow umbrella we've heard so much about, and it was lovely. Then NOPE. Dead. Gone. They killed her. THEY KILLED HER. In fact... I don't have an issue with the death storyline. It actually makes sense, and we now understand why Ted has spent so long telling this story to his kids, and why it's so important to him. It really means something. But my issue is... we don't even get to say a proper goodbye. We get a five second clip of her lying on a hospital bed, and that's it! That's. IT. What the fuck was that?!
But... okay. I could have forgiven all of this. All of it... if the show had ended there. If Ted had said, 'and that, kids, is how I met your mother...' *fade to black, THE END*. That's how it should have ended. A sad ending, sure. But at least that ending would have made sense. It would have been a somewhat satisfying one. And then...
6) Ted and... Robin. FUCK. OFF. No. NO. No no no no no no no.
I'm not a huge fan of comedies that go on and on for years, and only finish when the writers have run out of ideas, but this show was clever. It was original. We were told in episode one, that despite the 'love at first sight' look between these two, despite the constant on again, off again relationship, she was NOT the mother. She was NOT the woman he ended up with. When have we ever had that in a show like this? We knew Ross and Rachel would end up together in the end. We rooted for it. We were not rooting for Ted and Robin. Their relationship is not what this show was about. And yet... the very last shot is of a middle-aged, widowed Ted holding that stupid blue French horn up to a lonely dog lady wearing a very questionable wig.
What were they thinking?